What have you built?

In the moment by moment ups and downs of whatever it is we do, it's important to remember what we are building AND who's been a part of it. 

In my own company I've had the chance to be a part of many, many great things. Most of which my name isn't listed as the "owner, founder, or president" but it's awesome to know it wouldn't be here, or to the level it is with out my influence in some way, shape, or form.

Now it's unusual to take the time to think this way and that's why it's so important as leaders, managers, brokers, presidents, CEO's to take the time to make sure our people know their part. Sure you could acknowledge it at a sales meeting, but why wait until then. 

What if you sent a simple text to the people integral to your business and say, "Thanks for helping me build something special" (Read that part again slowly).

As leaders we have to remember that whether someone's a top producer, or a struggling newbie, they are all constantly judging and putting unrealistic expectations on themselves. Hearing the words from a leader that "you matter" is just evidence we all need to know that we are in the right place.

And if you're not a leader by title, you got where you are with the help and support of someone. Whether it be a client, a coach, a mentor, or a member of the family, taking the time to acknowledge people for how they have been a part of your journey will probably make their day. 

SO what are you waiting for...

Meeting Priscilla:

Last night I’m flying home with my wife and son after a 5-day long conference in Saint Louis.

A woman in her late 60’s sat next to us on the plane. This surprised me especially since we we’re holding a 9 month old baby who is very, we’ll call, social. Fortunately, both he and my wife took a nap before take off.

Upon sitting down she said made a quick phone call to someone, and all I heard was “I don’t even want to talk about it.” Followed by held back tears.

I tried to give her space and just read my book, but I’m a curious person and neither of us were going anywhere any time soon. Plus, something told me she could use someone to talk to.

Once we reached cruising altitude, I introduced myself and shook her hand. Her name was Priscilla. 

After exchanging pleasantries, I asked Priscilla, “How are you doing today?”

She tearfully responds, “I lost my only son 2 years ago and tomorrow is mother’s day. It’s a really hard time for me to be happy.”

Having a background in conversating with house wives while selling them kitchen knives, I know when it’s time to make someones day.

We talked the whole flight about her son, what she loved about him, and how he came to live with her his last years of life.

I even got to ask her, “If you’re son were alive today, what would he tell you on this mother’s day.” She said “He’d thank me for always being there for him. For always helping him get out of a jam, and for always loving him no matter what.”

Now I don’t normally pray with complete strangers, but something told me she could use it. We held hands and I asked God to help her remember that she got to be a mom for 49 years and that she’s still a mom forever whether her son’s here or not.

When we were done, Priscilla told me how she believed God made sure we sat next to each other on this flight. She told me that before getting on the plane she was hysterical, and was thinking really bad thoughts. Like whether it was worth sticking around any more.

Before landing she got to meet my family, and the look on her face proved that Priscilla felt a whole lot better.

Before we went separate ways, she made sure to say, "Your mom did a really good job." Well there you have it Kathleen Donnelly Israel.

Here’s to all the Priscilla’s of the world…you are loved! 

This post is dedicated to my wife Monica, who sets the family standard for expressing gratitude and making people feel awesome. And to my own mom for being the greatest example of compassion I know.

Happy Mothers day everyone!

The lifetime-value of Courage

The lifetime-value of courage.

I’ve been reading several books on the concepts of money. How to spend it, save it, and invest it. I often think, “Man, if I had more money, I could invest more, then I’d have more money.” All true from an investor stand point.

In business, I’ve often thought, “Man, if I had more money, I could start doing this, or advertising like that, and that could probably make me a lot more money.”

We've all heard the tired old adage of “It takes money to make money”.

But of all the investments known to man, the most underrated commodity is...courage.

-Courage is what it takes to call on a potential prospect.
-Courage is what it takes ask someone on a date, or complete a relationship when it’s no longer serving both parties.
-Courage is what it takes to ask for a referral, and even more courage to call that person.
-Courage is what it takes to apply for a job or college that seems so far out of reach but brims on the edge of “possible”.
-Courage is what it takes to admit a mistake you made even though it may risk the relationship, but also builds the trust necessary for a life long friend or client.
-Courage is what’s required to join a group to make new friends when you risk being an outsider.
-Courage is required to look at the areas of your life and admit what’s not working, and even more courage to find the answers in a book or in a person, and still even more courage to start making changes.
-It takes courage to say YES, it takes courage to say NO

That compounding value of courage in business or personal life is the difference of a life well lived, and a life of regret.

Life is going to happen the way it happens irrespective of what you want. Courage is like our little access card to influencing others and situations to such that they move in the direction aligned with our values and goals. 

True, money can make you more money. BUT courage...courage is like a printing press. It's the one asset we all have that can literally print money from thin air no matter your current circumstances.

Who's worth the time?

I'm having a great time working through the experience of only spending time with people who want to spend time with me. More from a business and professional stand point than anything. Massive marketing efforts will yield a lot of activity in the pipeline. I think it's important to remember as business people, when we ramp up our efforts we WILL experience a greater number of people who don't care for what we do or choose not to do business with us BUT we don't do it FOR them, do we? 

My heart of hearts believes that business is more like a courting process than anything else. The more we clutch on to each potential person who doesn't match with our values, the more opportunities we miss out with those that do.

Nobody is meant for everyone, and that's probably a good thing. Facebook puts a cap on # of friends for a reason. We were meant to connect. Being real, and being genuine are the only way that we attract the right people into our lives. 

There's a special person hidden in the crevices and shadows of the streets we call life. They could be our #1 client, a future spouse, that friendship we've been praying for. BUT it's difficult to find them when we're trying so hard to impress everyone. Embrace your humanity, work hard, and love people.

The Desire to Want

My son is 7 months old now and he’s developing the desire to want. Currently he can only sit up, but I’ve noticed that he started reaching for things.

There’s this green ball he plays with that some times rolls away. Before he’d just cry until one of us walked over, picked it up, and handed it to him. Now he leans forward and REACHES. It’s fascinating for any parent to see their child do something new, but I think there’s an important component to human life going on…the desire to WANT.

Wanting creates action. 

Wanting causes us to face fears.

Wanting causes us to change attitudes and behaviors.

Wanting inspires learning.

Wanting allows us to leave the past behind.

Why? Because wanting creates tension. “I’m HERE, that’s over THERE.” Then we are forced to deal with whatever there is to deal with to close that gap and the only way for our wants to be fulfilled is for “US to go to IT, or IT to come to US.” 

If we keep giving him the ball when it rolls away, he’ll miss out on one of the greatest experiences of life: the experience of DESIRE and the necessity to grow-change-move-act for it’s attainment. 

It's important to let people want. Let people reach. Let people fall. Let people learn. Let people win.