Earlier this year, someone said to me, "Don't read what you are INTERESTED in, read what you need to GROW in." Right now I'm reading Emotional Intelligence 2.0 because...well...you get the idea.
Definition: Emotional Intelligence- your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and your relationships.
Now this isn't my first introduction to emotional management, but I was moved by the very last thing I read. It discussed the the varying causes of emotional intelligence and awareness. Naturally with age our awareness grows with life experiences as we are exposed to challenges, problems, events that cause a dynamic shift in our "personal reality".
It reached a section on the generation gap of Gen Y'ers, Gen X'ers, and Boomers and the difference in emotional intelligence between the U.S. and China. To summarize: the future leadership in the U.S. is in trouble...but there are solutions.
Tim Elmore wrote a book called "Artificial Maturity" where he identified the root CAUSE of issues plaguing Gen Y'ers is the exposure to information BEFORE they ever experience those things and understand how to process them, thus creating a "false confidence". Like "I read the book, I know how to do this"...or should I say "I watched this on youtube, I understand this."
We often learn:
-family dynamics from sitcoms
-life and death from video games and movies
-sex from ill-informed peers and internet "resources"
-family dynamics from sitcoms
-life and death from video games and movies
-sex from ill-informed peers and internet "resources"
The natural tendency is to control, shelter and protect. That doesn't change the fact that the world is dangerous, debts need to be paid, money is earned through adding value, and we could DIE for doing something stupid.
As a reformed "dumb dumb" teenager, the only thing I can tell you that made the difference was a caring adult who helped me through a mess I created in high school. He didn't clean it up for me, didn't judge me for having created it, but rather had the courage to stand there NEXT TO ME and help me apply the appropriate understanding of WHY things happen. He allowed me to cry to express sadness, yell to express frustration, be silent to experience the shame and anchor the the desire to change. In the end he asked, "What do you want?"
-I talked, he listened. A plan was created. Accountability established. Transformation was made.
-I talked, he listened. A plan was created. Accountability established. Transformation was made.
There is no surprise that the cause for so much mental health issues leading to school shootings, abusive relationships, suicides is...people aren't taught how to BE with and PROCESS their emotions.
-We can't be happy all the time. That's not truly what it means to experience "being human". Feelings aren't good or bad, they are just an indicator of something.
-We can't be happy all the time. That's not truly what it means to experience "being human". Feelings aren't good or bad, they are just an indicator of something.
Negative emotions are like a cold...9/10 times they just need to run their course. Rejecting, avoiding, not accepting we have a cold and going to school, or work, and pushing ourselves trying to work past it will just make it worse. AND, we'll probably give it to other people.
Positive emotions are just the same. However, sometimes we put the silencer on happiness, apply the breaks to joy, and establish "conditions" for gratitude. WHY? Because all these things require vulnerability and vulnerability terrifies us.
What's the point?
We can't control our intellectual intelligence, but we can control our emotional intelligence. Courage is the catalyst, grace is the antidote.
We can't control our intellectual intelligence, but we can control our emotional intelligence. Courage is the catalyst, grace is the antidote.
Give young people a chance to experience happiness, to experience sadness, to experience struggle, to experience elation, to experience love, to experience loss.
Not all struggles are meant to be public, but many aren't meant to stay private.
Life is an adventure that is no fun if you're in a hotel all day. The answer is not to hide, but rather to equip.


